Waiting on Love

When I watch love stories I sometimes get sad because I miss that feeling--the kisses and hugs, holding hands, and hearing someone say "I love you." And I know there have been times in the past that I thought that it was a sick joke-the wanting to feel love and not being able to (well not feeling it the way I think it should feel), and though I may not have been thinking it consciously I know that somewhere in my subconscious I placed the blame on God. Like He was keeping something from me. Those thoughts were yet another way that the devil gets a foothold in my mind. 1 Peter 5:8 (TLB) says, "Be careful-watch out for attacks from Satan, your great enemy. He prowls around like a hungry, roaring lion, looking for some victim to tear apart." Anyway that the devil can separate me from God he will. 

Tonight I watched a movie that brought up some of those feelings, but I think I gained some insight. God is NOT trying to keep anything from me. The reason I know how love feels is because I have been in love, fallen out of love, and ended up with heart ache and pain. That pain was not something God wanted for me. If I would have followed His plan for my life I would have waited for love and known no heart break. I made choices and now and now I have to deal with the consequences. I may not be able to change the wounds of my past, but I can prevent unnecessary wounds in the future. I made a decision about a year ago that I would wait on God. No dating and no boys until God says, "He is the one." I can't handle another heart break again. Hosea 12:6 (NIV) says, "You must return to your God, maintain love and justice, and WAIT for your God always."

***Really cool fact. I was writing this in my journal and stopped to read the scripture on each page. The scripture that I referenced is the scripture from the page in my journal that each part was written on. Thank you God for your divine counsel. 

Faith...a Beautiful Gift

"These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." 1 Peter 1:7 NLT

Over the last few months a lot has happened in my life. I have graduated with my Masters, started 2 new jobs, moved into my own place, and watched my little sister get married. It has taken some adjustment, and I am still in the middle of it. I have finally accepted that it will take some time to adjust. 

There have been days during the last few months that I did not think I would make it.  I will be honest that it would have been easier to give up than to keep going. The hardest part is when I thought that I had missed God's plan and direction for my life. As soon as doubt entered the devil used it as a foot hold. 


It took faith in Jesus and reassurance from Him to know that I was doing the right thing. He has never lead me wrong. Even though I am still going through this chapter of my life not knowing what is coming, I have faith in my Jesus that He has the plan. The New International Version of 1 Peter 1:7 says, "your faith—of greater worth than gold". Faith my be all I have right now, but it is the most valuable thing I have too.

Hidden Opportunity

Here recently I was having an issue that involved me and another person. I was struggling on what to do with the friendship and actually praying on weather I should end the relationship or not. I wasn't hearing God say that I should end the friendship so I just distanced myself from the person. I kept praying, but I am pretty sure it was selfish prayers. After a few weeks of distance and still praying the other person told me what a witness I had been for her. I was shocked and grateful. I had not even realized what I was "showing" her. It made me realize how important it is to be attuned to God--His heart, eyes, hands, feet, and character--that way we are less likely to miss an opportunity to witness or minister. Not only did God use me in Her life, but He used her in mine.

Ephesians 5:1-2 "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."