Waiting on Love

When I watch love stories I sometimes get sad because I miss that feeling--the kisses and hugs, holding hands, and hearing someone say "I love you." And I know there have been times in the past that I thought that it was a sick joke-the wanting to feel love and not being able to (well not feeling it the way I think it should feel), and though I may not have been thinking it consciously I know that somewhere in my subconscious I placed the blame on God. Like He was keeping something from me. Those thoughts were yet another way that the devil gets a foothold in my mind. 1 Peter 5:8 (TLB) says, "Be careful-watch out for attacks from Satan, your great enemy. He prowls around like a hungry, roaring lion, looking for some victim to tear apart." Anyway that the devil can separate me from God he will. 

Tonight I watched a movie that brought up some of those feelings, but I think I gained some insight. God is NOT trying to keep anything from me. The reason I know how love feels is because I have been in love, fallen out of love, and ended up with heart ache and pain. That pain was not something God wanted for me. If I would have followed His plan for my life I would have waited for love and known no heart break. I made choices and now and now I have to deal with the consequences. I may not be able to change the wounds of my past, but I can prevent unnecessary wounds in the future. I made a decision about a year ago that I would wait on God. No dating and no boys until God says, "He is the one." I can't handle another heart break again. Hosea 12:6 (NIV) says, "You must return to your God, maintain love and justice, and WAIT for your God always."

***Really cool fact. I was writing this in my journal and stopped to read the scripture on each page. The scripture that I referenced is the scripture from the page in my journal that each part was written on. Thank you God for your divine counsel. 

Faith...a Beautiful Gift

"These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." 1 Peter 1:7 NLT

Over the last few months a lot has happened in my life. I have graduated with my Masters, started 2 new jobs, moved into my own place, and watched my little sister get married. It has taken some adjustment, and I am still in the middle of it. I have finally accepted that it will take some time to adjust. 

There have been days during the last few months that I did not think I would make it.  I will be honest that it would have been easier to give up than to keep going. The hardest part is when I thought that I had missed God's plan and direction for my life. As soon as doubt entered the devil used it as a foot hold. 


It took faith in Jesus and reassurance from Him to know that I was doing the right thing. He has never lead me wrong. Even though I am still going through this chapter of my life not knowing what is coming, I have faith in my Jesus that He has the plan. The New International Version of 1 Peter 1:7 says, "your faith—of greater worth than gold". Faith my be all I have right now, but it is the most valuable thing I have too.

Hidden Opportunity

Here recently I was having an issue that involved me and another person. I was struggling on what to do with the friendship and actually praying on weather I should end the relationship or not. I wasn't hearing God say that I should end the friendship so I just distanced myself from the person. I kept praying, but I am pretty sure it was selfish prayers. After a few weeks of distance and still praying the other person told me what a witness I had been for her. I was shocked and grateful. I had not even realized what I was "showing" her. It made me realize how important it is to be attuned to God--His heart, eyes, hands, feet, and character--that way we are less likely to miss an opportunity to witness or minister. Not only did God use me in Her life, but He used her in mine.

Ephesians 5:1-2 "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

Same Pain Same God

Sunday night The Simple Church (my church) watched a video on Rwanda and the genocide that went on there. With around 1 million people killed in under 100 days in 1994. The founder of African New Life Ministries was there talking about what his organization is doing now in Rwanda. When watching the documentary one woman talked about the pain of loosing her family. Her pain was so apparent as she cried. It was interesting to me that even though i couldn't understand what she was saying (w/out of course reading the subtitles) I was aware of her pain. I found my self ignoring the subtitles and just understanding as she cried. Her pain looks the same as my pain and your pain. And the God she cried out to for relief from the pain is the same God that we cry out to. God made us so unique, but yet He gave us the same set of emotions. We just experience those emotions differently. We all feel pain--you, me, the man behind you at the grocery story, and the woman that lost everyone she loved in Rwanda. Each story is different, but the pain is the same. I believe that He gave us this similarity so we could share it and not have to go through the hard times alone. 

1 Corinthians 10:13 (The Message) No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it. 

 *picture from weheartit.com

Hearing From God

This morning in my quite time I was looking out the window and taking in all of God's beauty that was in my line of sight. As I looked at the leaves and branches of a tree I became aware of the slightest breeze. It made me think of a wisper--a wisper from God. God is always communicating with us. But he does not often communicate in a loud and audiable voice. We hear God moslty in still soft moments. The problem is we don't pay attention to His voice or we may not be familiar enought with His voice to recgonize it. Either way we miss Him.

Over the past couple of days I have been hearing Him say to me, "Be still and KNOW I am God" I have been busy lately so this past week with all the hustle and bustle I did not make time to get still and listne. I could tell the difference too. I have to hear what H is telling me for our relationship to be strong. To hear God takes a little more than just listening. We have to be able to recognized His voice. That is not a tricky task. God gives us a marvalouses way to learn the sound of His voice--by reading His word. John 1:1 says, "In the beginning the word already existed. The word was with God and the Word was God." Reading and studying His word is the best way to get to know His character. If you are searching for the truth my challenge to you is this: spend a few minutes in His word each day and you will find Him and the answers to most of the questions you have ever had.

My Prayer

God,

I just want to thank you for all the blessings that I have in my life. I can see things changing and I can feel myself growing. I know you are working in and around me. Sometimes it is hard for me to be unsure of what your plan  for my life is. I know that you have everything under control. I have faith that everything will play out in your perfect timing.

I pray that you use my past and my pain for your glory. I pray that you use me to do your ministry. I want to lay down my life for you Lord. 

I pray that you use this blog as a means to reach people for your Kingdom. I pray that the words here be yours, the stories here be yours, and the message be yours. I pray that you help me to be open and honest here so that the truth can be shown. I pray for each person that has read this blog or that will read it. I pray Lord that You be found here. You said, "For where two or more gather, I am there among them." I pray that you met us here God. You are so big that distance doesn't matter. I know that you can use this blog just as you can use me. 

Help me Lord to stay out of your way. I don't want this to be about me. 

Thank you for giving me the passion to reach people and to tell my story. Thank you for this journey. I know it will be amazing. 

In Jesus Precious Name,

AMEN

Silly Worry

 Over the past couple of weeks I have been doing some unnecessary worrying and doubting. The other day while I was driving I heard a line in a song that put it all in perspective for me. The song said, "Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life is the very same voice that calls you now to rise." It suddenly made all my worrying seem so silly. Our God is SO powerful. with just words He brought the dead to life. (John 11:43) So why do I doubt that He can use me? He CAN do ANYTHING!!!! I believe He is calling me and I believe He can and will use me if I will let Him. In Acts 26:8 Paul says, "Why does it seem incredible to any of you the God can raise the dead?" I think Paul's question for me would be, "Why can't He use you?" 

What are you questioning that God can do?

Blind Faith

"For we walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7

Faith - (noun) 2-belief that is not based on proof

Blind (adjective) 4- not having or based on reason or intelligence; absolute and unquestioning

7- Hard to see or understand

My walk with God has been all about BLIND FAITH--I believe and trust in Him and His power without being able to know where it would lead me. I stepped out in faith when I called on Him to save me. I have followed in faith when He told me to go and move. There has been so many times when He has said, "Trust Me" and I did even though I didn't know it would work. But God is faithful. If He has lead me to do something He has come through with blessings. I may not be able to see what His plan is, but He has one. His plan is always for my good and His glory. I love the way The Message version says it, "It is what we trust in but don't yet see that keeps us going." 2 Corinthians 5:7 I trust that God has the master plan, so I follow with BLIND FAITH. 

That leads me to this blog. I have a calling on my heart to reach people, to show them love, and a fulfilling life that can be found in Jesus Christ. I know that God has a calling on my life. I have faith that He wants to use my past, my pains, my experiences, and my passions for His ministry. I trust that. I do not know how all of this will manifest, but I have faith that He will use me if I get out of the way and let Him. I am not sure where this blog will lead. It will be my journey in BLIND FAITH. I will let God guide me. I pray that He is the author. For all of this is me trusting in the dreams He has put in my heart and stepping out in 

BLIND FAITH

 I believe if you gather here with me He will be here also. 

Yours In Christ,